Mary Allen February 16th, 2012

Have you ever achieved an important goal or dream, yet quickly moved on to the next task?  Or maybe you boldly took a risk, yet your performance didn’t meet your expectations or others?  Or maybe the perfectionist in you felt the accomplishment wasn’t big enough or worthy of celebration?  Do you generously celebrate your wins?

I thought I was someone who was good about celebrating successes.  And, maybe you have too.   But a few significant events opened my eyes to the importance of celebrating and the costs associated when accomplishments are minimized, criticized or glossed over.  I invite you to explore the “celebration factor” in your life, as I share my own past experiences with you.  It’s forever changed my relationship with celebration, and how I intend to consciously choose to honor the big and little achievements along life’s path.

A few years back, it was no secret that I’d been busily working on preparing my book for publication.  While there are numerous tasks and milestones along the way, going to print is one of the biggies. December that year marked the first print run of 125 galley copies for book reviewers.  While I consciously knew this was a great achievement, the event was sort of lost in the flurry of other activities.  Instead of feeling elated and joyous, I have to admit my experience was more like a mini postpartum depression. I had a bodywork session, and didn’t think much of it.

About three weeks later, I uploaded the files for the first BIG print run.  There wasn’t a parade or party.  The files were simply uploaded.  Mission accomplished.  Yet, my task list seemed as overwhelming as ever.  Once again, I felt my normal happy self uncontrollably nose-diving into droopiness.  This postpartum-like depression seemed worse than before. It was awful!  Conversations with other authors confirmed this was something they had experienced too. But, why?  Would some conscious celebrating have helped?

A third event brought me even more clarity.  I had attended a workshop.  Since the next phase for me was about putting myself into the public eye, I decided to participate in the amateur talent show.  This was definitely outside my comfort zone, as I don’t consider myself a performer AT ALL.  But, I’ve admired women who dance freely in front of a group, and thought it could be fun.  More importantly, I decided it would be a metaphor for authentically expressing myself in front of a group.  I figured if I couldn’t put myself out there in front of a supportive, loving group, then I’d be in big trouble on my book tour.

So, I went for it.  I gathered tips from the dance instructors who happened to be attending the event. There was virtually no time to practice.  My legs were shaking terribly in anticipation of this event. I was nervous.  I hate making a fool of myself.  But, before I knew it – I DID my performance.  They all clapped and loved it.

Did I celebrate?  Heck no.  I stood in the back of the room replaying the performance in my mind, my body still shaking a bit.  The critic was active with judgments.  I had moved too quickly. I had forgotten some of the tips, like breathing.  Could everyone tell how nervous I was? As others congratulated me, I deflected their comments, minimizing their kind words.  How many times have YOU deflected or minimized acknowledgment from others?

I explained to others that it wasn’t perfect. The truth is, there were parts of the performance that were fabulous, and I felt amazing and powerful at certain  moments. Other parts of the performance were a tad awkward, and a tinge of nervousness shined through.  Overall, it was pretty darn good, especially considering it was a first time experience.  While everyone was focused on the overall performance, I was fixated on the imperfections.  Performance aside, simply the courage to do it was worthy of celebration.  How many times do you refrain from celebration when your desired outcome falls short of expectations?

I eventually got tired of pushing the accolades away, and knew it would be useful to break this nasty habit. This whole experience served as a metaphor in TWO big ways.  First off, it’s not about doing it perfectly.  It’s about doing my best, being my authentic myself, and enjoying the process.  This is something I’d like to keep in mind, as I set out on my journey as a published author.   No doubt I will have a few awkward steps in the eyes of the public.  Perhaps you’ll join me in trading the aspiration of perfection for full self-expression and a joyful journey — in your own life?

Secondly, I realized that once again, I wasn’t letting the celebration in. FEELING the celebration is key. Positively anchoring an accomplishment conditions us to continually risk, express ourselves and achieve more.  I have been working on this since then. And, taking in the celebration feels AMAZING.  What is something that you need to celebrate in your life? I challenge you to go for it.

As things turned out, the book spine needed some width adjustments, last minute endorsements came in and we caught a few needed corrections.  On Wednesday night, the final-final .pdf files for The Power of Inner Choice were uploaded to the printer.  At last.

I am a good student, and so is my husband.  And, the lessons were fresh.  This was the landmark moment that wasn’t going to be brushed aside this time.  I hypothesized that minimal celebration had contributed to the droopiness.  We wanted to avoid the previous slump at all costs.  So, Wednesday night became the time to celebrate.

How would you have celebrated?

Our last minute celebration consisted of fresh halibut, Gorgonzola Gnocchi from Trader Joe’s (it’s very yummy!), an exceptional bottle of wine – and one of our favorite dessert treats.  But, it wasn’t the food, it was the ATTITUDE of celebration.  Making the evening special just because we decided to.  Most importantly, I took the celebration inside of me and FELT it.  And, I’m happy to say — there was NO slump afterward.  I could  celebrate the book release!

Celebration is about honoring yourself.  It refuels the fire.  It soothes the soul.  And, it FEELS GOOD!  Without it, our efforts can take the wind out of our sails.  Life is full of big and little opportunities to celebrate.  Some would say that CELEBRATING and experiencing joy IS what life is all about.  I’m beginning to believe that is simply the truth.

Are you CELEBRATING your life?

It’s not too late to start celebrating every step of YOUR journey.  Celebrate with me. Celebrate with your loved ones.  Celebrate with yourself.  Just start celebrating.

Source: http://lifecoachmary.com/blog/2012/02/the-importance-of-celebration-by-mary-allen/

 

I wanted something different for a guestbook. As I sew clothes and costumes, I came up with the idea to have our guests sign and decorate pieces of fabric and sew them together into a wedding quilt afterwards.

It was a lot of work, but definitely a success. Our guests very much enjoyed adorning the pieces (some people were working on it for an hour and two of my aunts took theirs home to make it really pretty) and the quilt turned out to be lovely!

It was the very first quilt I ever made so I probably didn't do everything by the book, but I still want to share with you how it was done.

What you will need:
Fabric — It can be a challenge to find suitable fabric. Try to find fabric of the same material, as it will be easier to sew into even pieces. Light, monochrome and patternless fabrics will be best, as it will provide the best basis for readable messages.

• Different pieces of thread, in several colors.
• Different beads and sequins, in several colors (hint: make sure you can get a needle through the holes! I ended up with several bags of unusable beads.)
• Textile markers in several colors (indispensable for the less-creative guests — they can just write their names on the squares)
• Scraps of left-over fabric from which to cut the squares
• Textile glue, Textile paint, Iron, Tailors' chalk, Cardboard.
• Little clothespins, so people could hang up their decorations after they were done

Step 1: Shop!
This is fun: go to the shop and/or look in your closets to find stuff with which your guests can decorate their squares. But mind your wallet: all these things can get expensive without you noticing it!

Step 2: Wash and iron the fabrics

Depending on the type of decorations you provide, you can choose to make it a usable blanket, or to hang the quilt on the wall. My decorations were quite impractical for a blanket, so I choose to make a wall hanging. Then it is not really necessary to make it washable and you don't need to pre-shrink the fabric by washing it in advance. But it won't hurt to do it anyway.

Do iron the fabric: it will be more work once you have cut it into pieces, and after your guests are done decorating them, you won't be able to iron them anymore.

Step 3: Draw the squares

Now this is a delicate process — make sure all pieces are exactly the same size, or you'll get in trouble when trying to evenly sew them together. I made them 17x17 centimeters, including 0.5 cm seam allowance on each side.

I made a model out of cardboard, which I used to trace the squares with tailors' chalk. In the corners there are holes to draw dots, which served as markers: I instructed our guests to stay between these dots, so room would remain for the seams. Also, when sewing the pieces together, they will help you determine how to put them straight on top of each other.

 Step 4: Cut out the squares
It is hard to predict how many you will need. Not all people will RSVP, but also some couples use one square for the both of them, while others will use one square each.

That's also the reason why I did not sew them into a patchwork blanket in advance: the risk of being left with a way too big quilt, with many empty patches, was too big. And I was glad I didn't, because indeed fewer pieces were used than I anticipated.

Step 5: Provide the stuff and more on your wedding day

Put all of the fun stuff you bought to decorate, plus the instructions, needles, scissors, paintbrushes, a saucer for the paint, a bowl with water for cleaning the paintbrushes, etc. on a table where your guests will find it.

Step 6: Step aside and let your guests have their way with it!

As my guests tended to ignore the seam allowance, I had to take off some decorations to slightly move them out of the way. On some pieces I was able to cut out the text and fixate it more to the center of another blank square. There were even people who had cut the square into a cat-shape! Very original, but I did have to sew it onto another square to be able to process it.

Ah, you'll just have to be creative here yourself, and accept that some parts of the texts unfortunately will disappear under the seam.

Step 8: Construct your pattern

Scatter out all pieces on the floor, and see if you can arrange them into a pattern.

I deliberately did not make the centerpiece until now, as I wanted to first assemble the pattern and then determine how much space I had and what color would be best for it.

Step 9: Make the centerpiece

This can be whatever you like, or you can leave it out all together if you want. I put our names and wedding date on it.

Step 10: Sew the squares together

Use a sewing machine foot with a guider, so you'll be sure that all seams are an equal distance from the sides.

If you've neatly sewn everything together, all seams will match and your patchwork will look like this:

Step 11: Add borders and loops

Borders make a quilt even prettier. Cut four strips of fabric, as wide as you like them to be, and sew them along the sides of your patchwork.

If you want to hang the quilt on the wall, also add loops. Just sew two pieces of fabric together (I used a lighter shade for the inside), turn them inside out, double it over and pin it upside down to the front.

Don't iron the seams open: there is a risk that the padding will come through. Rather iron them to the side of the darkest fabric, to minimize the chance of it shining through. Iron the seams of the borders towards the border fabric.

Step 13: Cut the back, padding and make the sandwich

Cut a big piece of fabric for the back of the quilt, and also a big piece of padding. Once you sew everything together, it will wrinkle a bit, so they must be somewhat larger than your patchwork front (it doesn't matter if you make them too big, you can cut it off later).

Put down the back with the right side towards the floor. Lay the padding onto the back fabric. Then lay the patchwork top onto it, with the right side up. Smooth everything out as much as you can.

Step 14: Stitch everything together

Sew over all seams, stitching the back, padding and front together.

You'll really want to have a sewing machine with Integrated Dual Transportation for this: it makes sure the upper layers and lower layers are distributed equally fast through the machine. Sewing machines without it may cause the fabrics to shift, even though you have pinned everything down.

Also, there probably will be a very handy quilting foot available for your machine to precisely follow the seams. But I don't have one, so I just had to mind where I was sewing.

Hint: you'll have to stuff a lot of fabric into the arm of your sewing machine. Easiest to do is to roll up both sides of the quilt like a parchment, and only unroll the part you need to sew.

If you did everything properly, the back side will end up looking like this:

Step 15: Finish the sides

Now the proper way to do this is apparently to sew on some piping. I messed up here, because I found out too late that the back and padding had to be bigger than the front, so contrary to the instructions I provided you all with, I had cut them all the same size and ended up with a front panel that was bigger than the rest.

In stead of substantially trimming the front borders to match the back, I decided to sew another strip of fabric on the borders, iron the seams flat, turn a centimeter or so from the edge inwards, and pin the strip to the back, just covering the seams from the borders. Then I sewed over those seams again, fastening the strip of fabric.

Here are 50 wedding facts to ponder as you plan your big day.

GOOD LUCK  AND BAD LUCK

1. Hey, brides, tuck a sugar cube into your glove -- according to Greek culture, the sugar will sweeten your union.
2. The English  believe a spider found in a wedding dress means good luck. Yikes!
3. In English tradition, Wednesday is considered the "best day" to marry, although Monday is for wealth and Tuesday is for health.
4. The groom  carries the bride across the threshold to bravely protect her from evil spirits lurking below.
5. Saturday is  the unluckiest wedding day, according to English folklore. Funny - it's  the most popular day of the week to marry!
6. Ancient Romans studied pig entrails to determine the luckiest time to marry.
7. Rain on your wedding day is actually considered good luck, according to Hindu tradition!
8. For good luck, Egyptian women pinch the bride on her wedding day. Ouch!
9. Middle Eastern brides paint henna on their hands and feet to protect themselves from  the evil eye.
10. Peas are thrown at Czech newlyweds instead of rice.
11. A Swedish  bride puts a silver coin from her father and a gold coin from her mother  in each shoe to ensure that she'll never do without.
12. A Finnish  bride traditionally went door-to-door collecting gifts in a pillowcase, accompanied by an older married man who represented long  marriage.
13. Moroccan women take a milk bath to purify themselves before their wedding ceremony.
14. In Holland, a  pine tree is planted outside the newlyweds' home as a symbol of fertility and luck.
    
    IT'S GOT A RING TO IT
15. Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it  was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the  heart.
16. About 70% of all brides sport the traditional diamond on the fourth finger of their left hand.
17. Priscilla  Presley's engagement ring was a whopping 3 1/2-carat rock surrounded by a detachable row of smaller diamonds.
18. Diamonds set in gold or silver became popular as betrothal rings among wealthy  Venetians toward the end of the fifteenth century.
19. In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital  happiness.
20. A pearl  engagement ring is said to be bad luck because its shape echoes that of a tear.
21. One of history's earliest engagement rings was given to Princess Mary, daughter of Henry VIII. She was two years old at the time.
22. Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United  States!
23. Snake rings  dotted with ruby eyes were popular wedding bands in Victorian England --  the coils winding into a circle symbolized eternity.
24. Aquamarine represents marital harmony and is said to ensure a long, happy marriage.
    
    FASHIONABLE LORE
25. Queen Victoria started the Western world's white wedding dress trend in 1840 -- before then, brides simply wore their best dress.
26. In Asia, wearing robes with embroidered cranes symbolizes fidelity for the length of a marriage.
27. Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the veil protected the bride from evil spirits. Brides have worn veils ever since.
28. On her wedding day, Grace Kelly wore a dress with a bodice made from beautiful  125-year-old lace.
29. Of course, Jackie Kennedy's bridesmaids were far from frumpy. She chose pink silk faille and red satin gowns created by African-American designer Ann Lowe  (also the creator of Jackie's dress).
30. In Japan,  white was always the color of choice for bridal ensembles -- long before  Queen Victoria popularized it in the Western world.
31. Most expensive wedding ever? The marriage of Sheik Rashid Bin Saeed Al Maktoum's son to Princess Salama in Dubai in May 1981. The price tag? $44 million.
32. In Korea,  brides don bright hues of red and yellow to take their vows.
33. Brides carry or wear "something old" on their wedding day to symbolize continuity with the past.
34. In Denmark,  brides and grooms traditionally cross-dressed to confuse evil spirits!
35. The "something blue" in a bridal ensemble symbolizes purity, fidelity, and  love.
    
    FOOD AND FAMILY
36. In Egypt, the  bride's family traditionally does all the cooking for a week after the  wedding, so the couple can…relax.
37. In South Africa, the parents of both bride and groom traditionally carried fire from their hearths to light a new fire in the newlyweds' hearth.
38. The tradition  of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where revelers broke a loaf  of bread over a bride's head for fertility's sake.
39. The custom of  tiered cakes emerged from a game where the bride and groom attempted to kiss over an ever-higher cake without knocking it over.
40. Queen  Victoria's wedding cake weighed a whopping 300 pounds.
41. Legend says  single women will dream of their future husbands if they sleep with a slice of groom's cake under their pillows.
42. An old wives'  tale: If the younger of two sisters marries first, the older sister must  dance barefoot at the wedding or risk never landing a  husband.
    
    SHOW OFF AT A COCKTAIL PARTY
43. "Tie the knot" comes from Roman times, when the bride wore a girdle tied in knots that  the groom later untied.
44. The Roman  goddess Juno rules over marriage, the hearth, and childbirth, hence the popularity of June weddings.
45. Princess Victoria established the tradition of playing Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" during her wedding processional in 1858.
46. The bride  stands to the groom's left during a Christian ceremony, because in  bygone days the groom needed his right hand free to fight off other  suitors.
47. On average,  7,000 couples marry each day in the United States.
48. Valentine's  Day and New Year's Eve are the two busiest "marriage" days in Las Vegas -- elopement central!
49. The Catholic tradition of "posting the banns" to announce a marriage originated as a  way to ensure the bride and groom were not related.
50. Stag parties were first held by ancient Spartan soldiers, who kissed their bachelor days goodbye with a raucous party.

Source:  http://www.djonwheels.net/Weddings/Wedding_Traditions/wedding_traditions.htm

With the ring finger of the right hand, the couple anoint each other’s forehead with sandalwood oil.

"Sandalwood emanates a sweet fragrance when it is ground into a paste. The more it is ground, the sweeter the perfume, this is symbolic of joyous effort and perseverance. It is the same with marriage, the more energy we put into it, the sweeter the results. Sandalwood is cooling and calming, it reduces fever, agitation and anger, reminding us to be patient when difficulties arise, remaining cheerful and happy, radiating sweetness and gentleness like the sandalwood."

Divorce holds the potential to transform the lives of those who go through it. It is a painful journey, one that takes courage and a personal commitment to healing.

So what gives with the lack of ritual around it?

The “divorce ceremony” is a trend gathering steam that supports divorced individuals to embrace their future in a meaningful way. A thoughtful divorce ceremony mindfully unbinds the emotional ties of a relationship and can be a hugely transformative part of the healing process.

An aim may be to help the individual acknowledge the good parts of the marriage and not reject it outright. In virtually every marriage, even the most dysfunctional, there were lessons learned and small blessings (sometimes in disguise!).

One must be well and truly ready for such a ritual, often two years after the marriage is legally over, because it takes time to awaken to conciliation. Ex-spouses have differing emotional paces and needs, and so divorce ceremonies are typically for the individual.

As with all deeply resonate ceremonies, the preparation done to develop the rituals used are the foundation of the experience.

Through mindful reflection, the individual comes to inwardly acknowledge the gifts of the marriage, and the opportunities that lie ahead as the result of its conclusion. During the ceremony, the honoree symbolically manifests this acceptance.

Such a ritual can take the form of clipping the edges of a marriage certificate to symbolically render it null and then making pledges for one’s future, reworking a ring, or gifting.

When the union has brought children into the world, one may express intention to interact respectfully with one’s former spouse by offering prayers of forgiveness and release.

Typically a small but close group of family and friends are invited to attend the intimate ceremony. Guests may find the ceremony provides a safe place to process whatever feelings they themselves hold around this divorce.

I love what Marianne Williamson says about divorce in her lovely book Illuminata: Thoughts, Prayer, Rites of Passage:

“I bless you and release you. Please forgive me; I forgive you. Go in peace. You will remain in my heart.”

by Michele Davidson

About the author: Michele Davidson of Modern Celebrant was one of the first professional celebrants in Canada. Her calling is “honouring the big moments of life through transformational ceremonies.” She believes that authentically crafted ceremonies have the power to awaken us to the deeper emotions behind the big moments of life and to what she calls the “Patch of Blue” inside each one of us. http://www.moderncelebrant.ca/

• Stand outside and face the Sun
• With intent, direct the golden rays into your third eye at the centre of your forehead
• See your mind fill with light and imagine a pearl in the centre of your brain also filling with golden light
• Now consciously take your breath up through your nostrils into this golden pearl and witness this ball expand and contract with each breath
• Do this for as long as you feel comfortable
• Repeat daily

The pearl in the centre of your brain is the Pineal Gland and what Min refers to as the Gateway for your Divine Consciousness. By activating this with golden sunlight and conscious breath, it will assist you in reconnecting to your own divine intelligence and pure life-force, which is  Love.

News Flash......Fluoride can cause a crust to build up around the Pineal Gland,causing dysfunctions within the hormonal system.When performing the above exercise witness the golden light dissolving this fluoride crust and remember,you are the most powerful person you are ever going to know!

The Invisible College

A Sacred Spiritual Brethren In Service To Your Awakening;

"Every moment you experience as a human being is an achievement, do not struggle with the notion that you must achieve anything more."... ~Min~

A very simple ritual that can be done silently, within the heart, only takes a few moments.

Start with your intention for the ritual, in the Yogic tradition, this is called your Sankalpa.

An example for this ritual:

"I choose to live this day with awareness and love, so that all my actions are for my highest good and for the highest good of all those I encounter.”

The symbolic action of this ritual - visualise yourself lightening a candle or offering a flower to the image of a deity you resonate with, along with words like:

“I offer you my every thought, word and action of this day.”

Spend a little time, even just a few moments, visualising the deity moving into your heart.

When you are ready, complete the ritual with words of gratitude - e.g.

“Thank you for all your love, I’m grateful for all I receive."

This simple ritual at the very moment your days begins, is a reminder of your commitment to your Higher Self, your Inner Divinity - bringing you back to awareness of Who You Really Are.

A nourishing start to your day, stating your highest purpose intention.

by Mukta Saraswati